How to support others in a crisis?

What are the types of crises?

Psychologists define a crisis as experiencing a change significant enough to cause considerable cognitive or emotional stress in those affected. There are many types of crises. They may be developmental, happening during typical life transitions, like leaving the family home at the start of adulthood, when we are adjusting to a new reality. Another type of crisis is the so-called situational crisis, which occurs as a result of sudden, unpredictable events, such as a natural disaster (e.g., a flood). A special type of crisis is those related to mental health, which can occur, for example, in cases of depression.

What should we pay attention to when we suspect a crisis in someone close to us?

Identifying signs that someone's condition is worsening is essential when helping a person in crisis. Here are the symptoms we should pay close attention to:

1. Neglecting personal care or responsibilities

Neglecting hygiene, missing days at work or school, and failing to fulfil basic responsibilities may indicate that a person feels overwhelmed or unable to cope with daily tasks. Such neglect may be linked to experiencing severe stress or depression.

2. Changes in behaviour

Significant changes in behaviour may indicate a decline in mental health. These include withdrawing from social interactions, losing interest in previously enjoyed activities, or sudden changes in eating or sleeping patterns.

3. Increased agitation, nervousness, or irritability

Heightened irritability, anxiety, or unexpected anger can be signs of escalating inner distress. These behaviours are often linked to intense stress reactions
and may be associated with difficulties coping or emotional overwhelm.

4. Expressing feelings of hopelessness or helplessness

If a person frequently expresses feelings of hopelessness (e.g., "It will never get better") or helplessness (e.g., "There is nothing I can do"), it may indicate a deepening crisis. Such expressions often precede more serious consequences, such as suicidal thoughts.

5. Drastic mood swings

Sudden and extreme mood changes – such as rapidly shifting from sadness to euphoria or vice versa – may signal a crisis. In such cases, it is important to encourage the person to seek professional help.

6. Unusual, risky behaviours

Engaging in risky or reckless behaviours, such as substance abuse or careless driving, may reflect struggles with overwhelming emotions or a disregard for one’s own safety and well-being.

7. Expressing the belief of being a burden to others

When a person in crisis repeatedly says they feel like a burden to others or that they do not matter, it is a serious warning sign. It may indicate deepening emotional pain and the onset of suicidal thoughts.

8. Isolation despite efforts to offer support

Withdrawing from relationships during a crisis is a common occurrence. However, a noticeable change where a person isolates themselves despite repeated offers of support may indicate the need for immediate professional intervention. Such isolation can contribute to the development of suicidal thoughts.

9. Being fixated on death or self-injury

Talking about death, expressing a desire to harm oneself, or making statements like “The world would be better without me” should be taken as serious warning signs. Such statements are often warning signs of suicidal thoughts, so it is important to seek immediate consultation with a psychologist or psychiatrist.

What should you do, and what should you avoid?

Helping someone close to you through a crisis, while also respecting their limits, is a significant challenge. Psychology provides valuable insights on how to offer support while also taking care of our own well-being. Here are some tips on how to interact with someone going through a crisis:

1. Active listening without judgement

Active listening is the foundation of emotional support. Research shows that providing someone with a safe, non-judgemental space to express their feelings and thoughts can reduce their anxiety and help build mutual trust. Active listening involves maintaining eye contact, using phrases like "I am here for you," asking open-ended questions, and refraining from interrupting, offering solutions, or giving unsolicited advice. Research also shows that reflective listening and paraphrasing what the other person says help them feel better understood.

2. Empathy and validating emotions

Acknowledging and validating emotions are crucial when supporting someone in a mental health crisis. Research on emotion-focused therapy emphasises that recognising someone’s feelings (with statements like “It is understandable that you feel this way”) reduces feelings of isolation. However, it is important to remember that this way of communicating does not mean agreeing with everything the other person says. It is more about
showing that we understand their emotions and accept them with respect.

3. Asking about needs instead of making assumptions

One of the simplest yet most effective ways to offer
support while respecting someone’s boundaries is to ask, "How can I support you right now?" Offering choices or asking open-ended questions prevents imposing unwanted advice and helps the other person maintain a sense of control during difficult times.

4. Being present

Sometimes our mere presence is enough for the other person to feel less overwhelmed by the problem. Research on the supportive presence of loved ones shows that physical or emotional closeness can significantly reduce stress levels. Spending time with someone
in silence, offering a comforting touch (when welcomed), or being present
and available when needed strengthens our role as a reliable source of support.

5. Refraining from giving unsolicited advice

Unwanted advice and solutions can come across as dismissive, moralising, or controlling, even when the intentions are good. Research on communication patterns during crises shows that advice is more helpful when the other person asks for it. Instead of giving advice, it is worth using phrases such as “Would it help if I shared what I think about this?” This allows the other person to maintain their autonomy while also signalling the possibility of more specific support if needed.

6. Encouraging seeking professional help if necessary

If the crisis is severe, gently suggesting seeking help from
a mental health professional can be a turning point. Research indicates that many people
in difficult situations feel relieved when someone they trust supports them in seeking therapy or counselling. It is worth using encouraging, non-intrusive statements such as, “I care about you, and I believe a specialist could provide you with more professional support.”

7. Caring for ourselves

Supporting someone in crisis can be emotionally demanding. Research on caregiver burnout emphasises that setting boundaries in helping protects against emotional exhaustion. Taking care of our own well-being is very important because our mental health ensures that we remain a stable source of support.

What should be done when we notice worrying signs?

If a person in crisis shows symptoms of declining mental health, support should be offered – here is what we can do:

• Monitor the person’s condition with tact and empathy while respecting their boundaries – it is advisable to ask about their well-being subtly and express concerns without judgment.
• Suggest seeking help from a mental health professional, emphasising that reaching out for support is a sign of strength, not weakness.
• Be present, offering support to the person in crisis and reassuring them that they are not alone with their problems.
• If necessary, seek help immediately. If a person in crisis is struggling with suicidal thoughts, we should immediately contact emergency services or a crisis helpline.

It is important to remember that stress caused by a crisis can reduce a person’s ability to process information effectively. As a result, such a person may downplay symptoms or make decisions that do not contribute to improving the situation,
and may even worsen it. This is an important reminder for loved ones, who should exercise particular vigilance and carefully observe behaviour during this time.

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